Welcome to Pennington, Hampshire. Sitting in the idyllic heart of the New Forest, the casual visitor can wile away the hours with scenic walks surrounded by roaming ponies or just relax in the company of friends in local pubs whilst ensuring the ritual humiliation of the ‘stag’ before his Big Day. Having been summarily despatched from the sofa this weekend, this is where I have been. And a good time was had by all involved. Chilli vodka with the capacity to strip the flesh from the back of one’s throat was consumed and the usual japery that occurs when a group of men get together was very much on show. So far, so manly. And why not?
Tag Archives | Ghana
My Mate Pete White
The vast majority of this week has seen me putting together a Dispatch in which I dissected the meaning of Gennaro Guttuso’s ‘Waterloo’ moment. The aging pitbull general of the AC Milan midfield, faced with the realisation that his team had been largely outfought and outthought by the relative Champions League novices of Tottenham, decided to take matters into his own hands and attempt to fight the entire Spurs squad with coach Joe Jordan being the particular focus of his red-misted ire.
El Mayor Espectáculo del Mundo
It may not have been pretty. It may not have been the spectacle of extravagance and style that we would have hoped. At times it resembled a slugging contest with some truly thuggish gamesmanship but in the end the team that attempted to play with a fluidity of movement and expression of freedom prevailed. Spain are the World Champions. And despite my belief that neither Spain nor Holland were truly deserving of their place in the Final itself, it cannot be denied that of the two finalists, it was the Spaniards who did the most to warrant the title now bestowed upon them.
All In The Game
Thank you Germany! Thank you Uruguay! As I hoped, match number sixty-three was one of the tournament’s truly entertaining and vibrant games. Of course, without the stakes being quite so high, both teams relaxed and played the kind of football that they are both capable of and have shown at various stages over the course of their seven matches in South Africa. And with it they were able to dispel the growing perception that this World Cup has been a series of drab, Mourinho-inspired tactical deadlocks. Of course, there have been those who have used such methods to progress (see holland) and I have been as guilty as anybody else of bemoaning this kind of effective pragmatism but having done so, I have neglected one of the other recurring themes of these Dispatches: the capacity of the World Cup to produce moments that will become embedded in one’s psyche, those golden moments that unfold a sprawling grand narrative which captivates us throughout its duration. (see worldcupdreams)
Unpredictable Predictability
I’d imagine that fish restaurants from Hamburg to Leipzig will be sharpening their knives tonight in anticipation of a flurry of orders for the ‘kalamari special’ over the next few days. Unfortunately, schools of innocent squid will probably suffer terminal fates because of the uncanny ability of one of their distant cousins to correctly predict the result of all the matches involving Germany at this World Cup. Yet again, Paul the Octopus gravitated towards the flag of the victors in his tank at the Oberhausen Sea Life Aquarium and this time his prediction was Spain.
Cheating the System
The Corinthian football club of the nineteenth century, so the story goes, was so staunch in its commitment to the spirit of amateur fair play, that when an own goal was scored by one of their opponents, they would immediately reciprocate the gesture by scoring one of their own. Penalties for them were anathema, missing them deliberately. And they refused to join the Football League or compete in the FA Cup for years because their founding rules stated that players were forbidden to “compete for any challenge cup or prizes of any description.” My, how the times have a-changed…
A Simple Plan
If you’ve been regularly reading this blog you will recall that I confidently predicted a South American winner of this World Cup and more specifically that victory would take shape in the form of Argentina (see south-america). The events of the last twenty-four hours have dramatically re-shaped such initial bluster with the twin exoduses of the traditional giants of that continent, Brazil and Argentina; both spectacularly caving in during their quarter-finals but in differing circumstances. While Brazil panicked beyond logic and reason against Holland and went about single-handedly wrecking their chances of recovery with rash tackles and petulant tantrums, Argentina’s demise was devastatingly brought about by a team that clinically dismantled the attacking foundations with which Diego Maradona had so admiringly instilled into his players.
Child’s Play
The renowned Russian theatrical practitioner, Konstantin Stanislavki insisted that an actor must learn to retain his original, childlike naivete in order to approach a role with an openness and sense of questioning wonder that the march of the seasons gradually erodes from the individual. If this technique is mastered and executed well, the actor’s performance is more than likely to result in a greater sense of believability through its ability to transmit an innocent spontaneity to the audience. If that is the case, then Asamoah Gyan’s heart-breaking sense of disappointment after missing that final, dramatic penalty-kick in the 120th minute of play thus shattering Ghana’s glorious dream of a historic semi-final, must surely be the pinnacle of raw emotion played out in front of the biggest, most captivated of audiences. (see continental-shifts)
Sofalife – A User’s Guide
Top tips for World Cup sofa survival:
1. Use technology to your advantage
When the forces of employment take away all the joy of living with their serious insistence that bills must be paid and responsibilities adhered to, the World Cup obsessive must seek refuge in the ability of the boffin to bring you your World Cup fix in a matter of seconds, locale holds no bounds. Twitter, internet, mobile phone and hearsay will all allow you to keep your finger, albeit surreptitiously, on the World Cup pulse. Match on at half twelve? No problem. Mute it and check your desk for ‘pens’, every few minutes or so, catching a blurry image of a New Zealand defender clattering into a Slovak. Three o’ clock matches? Forg-edda-bou-it! Sky + the required match and endanger pedestrians as you zoom home just in time to watch the recorded first half, forward the Hansen’s jibber-jabber and relax into the second half, ‘live’. Bliss…..unless…..the machiavellian spoilers at Sky, shorn of footballing dominance, sabotage the opening match by having the recording stop with thirty minutes to go unbeknownst to the erstwhile fan. Recording over, the tv goes back to real time and the match is in stoppage time. Adrian Chiles announces a barnstorming second half but you wouldn’t know because you endured the tense chess match of the first half. This has happened to more than one person. I share your pain.
Edited Highlights
Rest day in South Africa today, so in keeping with footballing convention, I bring you the edited highlights from the past twenty days on the World Cup sofa. Dare to think, dare to dream…
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In Defence Of Luis Suarez by Rachael Singh
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What’s The Point Of Scottish Football?
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Captain Caveman: The De-evolution of John Terry
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Alan Davies Is Here All Week
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Liverpool Football Club, 1892 – 2012 – An Obituary
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