The final Wednesday Dispatch of 2011 sees Hayden Shaw gazing into his crystal ball and telling us the future. It doesn’t bode well for England fans. Ladies and gentleman, may we introduce to you…
Tag Archives | Capello
Heroes and Villains by Steven Hughes
Tabloid journalists and the truth may be a contradiction in terms, but for this reporter honesty is clearly the best policy. Steven Hughes plonks himself onto the Football Sofa to explain why his relationship with his hero is a very subjective affair.
Marriage of Inconvenience
A year ago, soundtracked by a score of ethereal tranquillity and the desolate scattering of rustling papers in the wind, Nick Clegg went for a walk across this country’s dales and tower blocks. He looked us square in the eye and decried that politics had let us all down. He called it “a trail of broken promises” and he vowed that should we vote for him and his party, fairness would be restored to a society that had been ravaged by the gluttony of the Thatcher years and the self-serving transparency of the Blair era. He believed his words and so did I.
This Land Is My Land
Welcome to Pennington, Hampshire. Sitting in the idyllic heart of the New Forest, the casual visitor can wile away the hours with scenic walks surrounded by roaming ponies or just relax in the company of friends in local pubs whilst ensuring the ritual humiliation of the ‘stag’ before his Big Day. Having been summarily despatched from the sofa this weekend, this is where I have been. And a good time was had by all involved. Chilli vodka with the capacity to strip the flesh from the back of one’s throat was consumed and the usual japery that occurs when a group of men get together was very much on show. So far, so manly. And why not?
Captain Caveman: The De-evolution of John Terry
Note: This Dispatch will not use the term ‘JT’ at any point.
So much for Fabio Capello’s thunderously ominous pronouncement that the aggrieved John Terry had made a “big mistake” after the former had seemingly conspired to promote a mutiny in the ranks during last year’s World Cup. Apparently, some of the squad weren’t happy with the head coach’s disciplinarian methods and Terry used a press conference to publicly challenge the Italian’s authority. At the time, Capello’s swift rebuttal was largely commended and it seemed a fractious power struggle had been avoided. The father had reproached the son and a tentative détente had been achieved.
Read more on Captain Caveman: The De-evolution of John Terry…
Eyes Wide Shut
Before the unfolding drama of England’s second round match with Germany today, the BBC ran a puff-piece evoking the words of the giants of both countries’ literary traditions with the aim of putting the requisite fire into well-fed Sunday afternoon bellies. Rounding it off were the words of William Shakespeare imbibing visions of glory. After witnessing the events in both of today’s matches, a more appropriate truism from the Bard would be Hamlet’s: “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy”.
Ifs and Buts
Consider the word ‘if’. What does it evoke? Through our natural inclination for inquisitiveness we have asked questions which have allowed our chaotic human race to elevate itself above the other lifeforms of planet Earth. If I strike those flints, what will happen? If E=MC2, what is the result? If I fly to the moon, what else can I achieve? If I dare to dream….
North and South
The great institutions of Europe have a grim spectre hanging over them and this has nothing to do with the gloom of imminent economic meltdown sweeping its way across the continent. What is causing so much anxiety and sweating in the pressrooms of Madrid, London, Rome and Paris is the very real prospect of premature elimination from a competition which was meant to represent the zenith of European tactical mastery and free expression on the ball. The rest of the world gravitates towards its leagues seeking the riches and honours that, for a myriad of reasons ranging from political instability, bureaucratic buffoonery and financial poverty, do not exist in their corner of the map.
A Letter to Fabio
Dear Fabio,
I would dearly love to wish you many happy returns today but I’m afraid the only presents you will be receiving are those wrapped up in torrents of vitriol from a nation that so celebrated you upon your arrival on these shores. Your successes at the pinnacle of the game will not protect you from the gnashing of teeth and howls of spite once the fourth estate flagellates your hard-won reputation onto the printing-presses in a few hours time. You are truly through the looking-glass now. How I wish you had heeded the forewarnings from the desolate graveyard of England managers past.
El Presidente
The true star of World Cup 2010 was unveiled yesterday. Gifted and precocious as ever; prowling his territory like a supreme predator in his pomp. At ease in his natural environment. Steely. Romantic. Iconic. And his name is not Rooney. Or Messi. And definitely not Green. Yesterday belonged as if there was ever any doubt, to the magnetic charms of the incomparable Diego Armando Maradona. And he lived up to his billing with gusto.
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In Defence Of Luis Suarez by Rachael Singh
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What’s The Point Of Scottish Football?
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Captain Caveman: The De-evolution of John Terry
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Alan Davies Is Here All Week
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Liverpool Football Club, 1892 – 2012 – An Obituary
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