Tag Archives | Cantona

Arsenal Are Specialists In Success, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

THE JUNGLE BOOK

Unpredictable Predictability, Vol.4

Arsene Wenger, and thus by association Arsenal, is a specialist in failure. I know this because Jose said so. This truth does not of course consider the fact that Wenger is the Premier League’s most enduring manager. Nor does it take into account Wenger’s haul of trophies during this period in Arsenal’s history.  And as for the reality that the club had to make repayments on a new stadium whilst Chelsea and Manchester City were financially and cosmetically transformed into Godzilla-like mutations during this time, is something that should be conveniently filed away in the recesses of memory.

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My Guilty Pleasure: Washing Sieves With Garth Crooks

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Things I really shouldn’t love but I do: All the Police Academy films (including Mission To Mos-cow), Club Tropicana by Wham! and administering injections, a worrying penchant I recently discovered after Nina gave birth to our son. I admit, all of these are deeply wrong. Perhaps I really am a highly disturbed individual who needs years of therapy to untangle this unholy mess but they’re nevertheless true, so here I am, prepared to be open about these guilty little pleasures I indulge.

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Piers Morgan, Mental Health And Football’s Culture Of Bullying

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You know that Gary Speed? Mental midget, he was. Took the easy option. The coward’s way out. Didn’t tell anybody, either. And as for Robert Enke, that German ‘keeper who threw himself in front of a train? What was his problem? Had it all, didn’t he? Couldn’t handle the pressure? Do me a favour. This is a man’s sport. If he couldn’t take it, he should have quit and become a baker or something, right?

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The Redemptive Beauty Of Football

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In August I wrote, “This is not the post I had anticipated writing as my season opener”.  Nine months later and I’m going to use a similar refrain. This is not the post I had anticipated writing as my season closer. However this time, it’s not about coming to terms with a loss that still remains unquantifiable. This time, it’s for the right reasons. Last month, Nina had her three-month scan. Nothing was amiss. Our relief and happiness were palpable. We are expecting the arrival of the latest Junior Spur (this is not even up for discussion) in October. What a difference a season makes.

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Sir Alex Ferguson: Attach Superlative Here

Fulham v Manchester United – Premier League

Sir Alex Ferguson retires. How does one even begin to write a piece that sums up the achievements and influence of this man? Can anything new and original be gleaned from the avalanche of tributes, salutations and platitudes paid to the old curmudgeon since Wednesday’’s announcement?

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A Very Messi Nativity

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It’s time to don your Christmas jumpers, sit back on the Val Doonican rocking chair and enjoy the third Christmas Special from the Football Sofa. This year, we’re going to Catalonia.

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Football Economics For Dummies Like Me

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Half-time. Old Trafford, Manchester. Tottenham Hotspur are two-nil up against the home side. Sitting in the Stretford End, like two stick figures in an L S Lowry painting, are two visibly elder gentlemen. One is slightly portly, surreptitiously pouring brandy from his coat pocket into his flask of coffee. Droplets form on his bushy salt and pepper beard. The other, more sinewy in frame, munches with great enjoyment on a foil-wrapped baguette. Its contents are naturally those of the famed pink crustacean – a brigade of popular mythology. They are of course the internationally revered economic theorists Karl Marx and John Maynard Keynes, enjoying an evening of football at the Theatre of Dreams.

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So I Married A Football Blogger by Nina Theoharis

Nina Dispatch

It’s the final Wednesday Dispatch, so what better way to bring a cracking season to a conclusion than by handing the Sofa over to someone who sits on it every day. Mrs Theoharis never knew what she was letting herself in for. Let her explain.

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Heroes and Villains by Steven Hughes

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Tabloid journalists and the truth may be a contradiction in terms, but for this reporter honesty is clearly the best policy. Steven Hughes plonks himself onto the Football Sofa to explain why his relationship with his hero is a very subjective affair.

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I Heart Manchester United: A Confession

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Picture the scene. The Champions League Final, 1999. Reading University Student Union Bar. My future wife and best friend have just witnessed Teddy Sheringham’s last-gasp equaliser against Bayern Munich and she’s dancing on the sticky, alcohol-sodden floor whilst he’s lying on a pew in disbelief. Cue Solksjaer and we all know what happened next.

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